Balancing Intensity

Balancing intense study, working efficiently & intentionally, keeping perspective of "bigger life", goal-orientedness with family life, spousal support, prayer life and utilizing a continuous goal of running was my challenge for two weeks straight. Keeping in mind that "God will go before me" was HUGE and that "His Will be done". Kara do it for His glory & not your own. Be humble, acknowledge your flaws, remember your therapy roots, enjoy the process of learning. It was intense and it was enjoyable (for the most part). My husband might say otherwise but man having a goal like this while working full-time was intense and awesome especially since I passed it! Might have been another view, more solemn if I had not. I lived into my BRAVE-VERSION and dared to push through.
See "the night before" blog post on my other blog & you'll see my nerves.
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I was grateful that going into studying for the test I already knew the therapy theories especially family therapies really well from my background in taking the Marriage and Family Therapy national exam 5 years ago when I thought I was going to fully pursue Marriage and Family Therapy.

Studying in 2 weeks is a pretty big task though and I knew that it was (not to mention full-time job, wife, mother, runner). Per my coworker Mercedes she scheduled the test and then just did it. Once you get into the study portion and look at the ASWB study guide it is not nearly as intimidating as it initially seems.

ASWB Practice Test - $85 and yes it was worth it - a couple of these questions were on the exam

Pinterest: allowingmyself - my board "To Study for the LISW Exam"

Filled out my responses to the ASWB Clinical Exam Content utilizing:
- Beating the Social Work Exam - best blog - "KSA of the Day" was most helpful
- The Social Work Exam - general information - easy to find
- LCSW Study Buddy - good info on how to pass
- Free Practice Tests
- Therapist Development Center - good sample questions
- Social Work Scrapbook - a down-right cool blog
- Suicide Warning Signs
- About Childhood Trauma
- Diagnostic Information - disorders & medications
- Helpful website - oppositional defiant disorder & conduct disorder

- Addictions

- Perpetrators Information - Physical/Emotional/Sexual Abuse, Neglect

- Child Neglect
- Couples Therapy - a good article

Didn't really use but found them interesting:
- Audio Clips of Theories
- SW Dictionary Flash cards
- More Flash cards
- Social Work Podcast

READING THE SW CODE OF ETHICS

Reading Wikipedia for DSM diagnoses - Bipolar I & II; Schizophrenia Types; Major Depression; Dsthymia; Cyclothymia; Paraphilic disorders 

A Friend's Flashcards - helped when I saw "I AM GOING TO BEAT THIS TEST" - it's amazing how one can psych herself out...so don't...don't psych yourself out.

Response for Work: What would be possible if you were the bravest version of yourself?

Haven't written in awhile and hard to get consistent with this but I have done several activities with my boys. I continue to be as "present" as I can be when with them and to maintain a weekly meal plan (my husband is actually really good at putting down dinners for the week).

But I wanted to answer this question and felt that it pertained to working as well...so what would be possible if I were the bravest version of myself at work?

* I would not fear nor hesitate to share my perspective on complex cases with all my colleagues
* I would likely wear more colorful clothes
* I would not dwell on what I think someone else is thinking of about me...it just wouldn't matter
* I would focus on each case as unique and part of a larger story
* I would be more creative with my questioning and less time-focused in my assessments
* I'd smile more
* I would definitely carry an awesome pen to write down my notes and chicken scratches on
* I'd step into the "unknown" knowing that it's ok because I'm brave and God's with me, He'll make me brave
* I'd stop procrastinating (and writing this post) and study for the LISW (Licensed Independent Social Worker) licensure test

I know there is a need...

I know there is a need...for this. To read and experience, to know there are other women who are deeply connected to their families but called to work outside the home. I know there are other women who struggle with my same struggles. Who have to organize things in such a way as to thrive and not just survive the everyday week while being away from their children and spouses for the majority of the week.

I know that there are creative women who want to be present with themselves and with others. I know these women struggle with identity, fitting into circles of motherhood and validating that it's ok to be a godly women seeking God's favor and heart while working outside of their home.

I validate those women who work inside the home and I validate all that I can read about doing so, but there's not much reading about women who feel a calling outside. Women who pray for protection over their children throughout the day and who also desire to impact others in a positive way.

My mission ties into it all although I never realized it until about a year ago: to become vulnerable for God's glory by encouraging and guiding women towards personal and relational growth, balance and significance in Christ through creative and intentional methods

It's a balancing game of the most difficult level in my mind. We balance our identities although I'm fully a daughter of God first and foremost. We seek significance and to know that we are needed, we are wanted and that we are unique. We desire to grow and to be connected to others and especially our loved ones.

I hope to have some along this journey with me and maybe...they'll be bold enough to share their own wisdom and their own lessons. I'll be sharing therapeutic questions along the way to consider and coaching...we'll see where this goes. But ultimately may this encourage you...

It is what It is...

It's a phrase I use often and one that was impressioned upon me while in graduate school with learning the process of therapy. It's mostly out of the post-modern movement but I've found so much wisdom from it as well for my spiritual walk with God. I'd encourage anyone reading to remember it and to apply it to those times when your own understanding fails. "It is what it is..." and then learn from that moment.

Acceptance with hope and repentance of our own wrongs is part of the beautiful movement forward. I think about the encounters I have at work with people continually and the encounters I have with my husband and children.

My friend Melanie Shipps has stated, "The secret to happiness and peace is letting every situation be what it is, instead of what you think it should be, and then making the best of it."

When we work full-time and witness our own tragedies or that of others, it is so important to keep in mind to simply be present with that person or even our own selves. We can only do so much, we can only be so much to other people and for other people. We are only finite. It's not about performing, doing what we think we "should" do or even what others "might" think we should do. It is what it is...leave it, let it go, move forward, give grace and do the best you can in that moment. God gives grace to you if you believe in the moment for the moment. He will equip, he will move and you will be better for it.

Working full-time lends to situations that I cannot control at times for my family because I am not with them. I can do my best to make sure that my opinions and preferences are known to childcare but that's doesn't mean that it will happen. I can express to my husband all my wants or needs or even have him express his to me but that doesn't mean that time will allow for me to prioritize them always as first. Life happens, deadlines or rather "alivelines" as Kelly Rae Roberts says, happen. Bad snack days at school and behavior days happen. Burning supper happens or the slow cooker meal I planned the week before didn't thaw out overnight since it was a freezer meal-kind of thing happens. I didn't pack the right clothes and shoes for childcare. Etc...etc...etc...but life is life. You may not have the career you wanted by now or the possessions or even number of children you wanted. It is what it is... take comfort in that and make the best of it. Somewhere else in our world something else is going on and you are blessed.

The Real Deal

People ask me how we do it...how do we really do it? How we juggle priorities, independence, jobs, childcare, family time and most importantly time and margin with God...

my clear-cut answer is...by God's grace. It's raw life people. We don't schedule a lot of activities and do our best to be intentional with the week ahead and with meeting one another in the middle. It's not always pretty nor organized. We have margin...space in which to be flexible to have a night out here or there. Space made to work-out or exercise but it has to be at specific times otherwise it does not happen.

I'm no super woman and Mark is no super-man. We have our flaws and we are committed to learning from our mistakes and to pursuing one another. We pray protection over our boys when we are not present with them and continually move towards giving them grace when all hellatious you-know-what breaks out. it's just the real deal and we're experiencing it together.

You are Already Brave

While working full-time has its cons, it also has its pros. Through the process of eliminating distractions in my life because there is just not enough time to do everything or think everything. I have found the value in mantras or rather life-giving phrases. These life-giving phrases do just that, they give me life when I feel that I can't keep going or am frustrated about something. When fear comes into my path and I feel stuck, I am reminded of the calling that God has placed on my life.

He's placed me right here right now with these people for a reason.

Here are some of my life-giving phrases:

• You are already Brave
• trust Him
• You are doing it differently   (whenever I'm tempted to compare)
• trust the process
• let go
• be curious
• choose life
• beautiful now
• your story matterswhat you do matterswho you are mattersyour walk matters

Think about what motivates you to do your best or to give of yourself when you seemingly have nothing left. Now write some of yours (I've provided some prompts)...share if you'd like #workingblessing.

You are...
Say yes to...
Be...
Trust...
Choose...
Hope for...
Be inspired by...
Give...

This is only the beginning...

This is only the beginning of something I think is vitally important and missed in our generation and in our role as women. I see readings and encouragements of all kinds for women who stay in the home full-time or even part-time (which is quite wonderful) but I can't find much for those of us who either choose or feel 'called' to work full-time.

This blog is to be dedicated to those women who are a "working blessing". She is unlike many of her modern-day peers especially if she has a conservative value system. She may feel a little left out when hearing stories about children and activities at home. She may feel ragged at times while trying to juggle all the roles in her life and different environments (church, home, family, friendships, work). She might even long to be home but acknowledge that she is called to something different, something even possibly controversial to some of her generation or value system.

I am such a woman...I'm Kara, a daughter of God, a free but analytic spirit, a wife of a wonderful man whom happens to be a minister, a mother of two energetic boys, a runner and self-proclaimed creative junkie and a medical social worker now who formerly worked as a marriage and family therapist in another life.

This blog is to inspire those who have to be intentional with our time, who want ideas about how to balance, who want to read real, raw concepts about living a full-time working life while remaining healthy and present with our families. And by the way, I get it wrong a lot, so being a work in progress as is my motto for allowing myself, is just part of the journey.

Here's to you - cheers!